22 things to do on an elevator

1) crack open your briefcase or handbag and say, ‘Got enough air in there?’
2) stand motionless and silent in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) when arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors, then act embarrassed when they open.
4) greet everyone with a warm handshake then ask them to call you Admiral.
5) meow occasionally.
6) stare at another person for a while then say You’re one of THEM? then back away slowly.
7) say ‘DING!’ at every floor.
say ‘I wonder what these do?’ then press all the red buttons.
9) make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) stare, grinning at another person for a while then announce ‘I don’t have any socks on.’
11) when the elevator is silent, look around then ask ‘Is that your beeper?’
12) try to make a personal phone call on an emergency phone.
13) draw a little square on the ground with chalk then announce ‘this is my personal space.’
14) when there’s only one other passenger in the elevator poke them then act like in wasn’t you.
15) push the buttons and act like they give you a shock, smile, then go back for more.
16) ask if you can push the buttons for someone else then push the wrong ones.
17) hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for a friend then after a while let the doors close and say ‘Hey Greg, how was your day?’
18) drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to pick in up then yell, ‘Hey that’s mine!’
19) bring a camera and take pictures of all the passengers.
20) pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with passengers.
21) Swat at flies that don’t exist.
22) Wait until there’s a huge group of people and then push the button for every floor.